"You might tried to wish for a shooting star"
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#ThreeTopsTwoComingUp
Sunday, 28 September 2014 || 09:57
Oh.
Not just today, but everyday amazes me.
Differently.
Like, you can be amazed everyday a thing, because the fact that it happens everday,
and also you can be amaze in a lot of things everyday,
and those are different from each and other,
right?
That being that.
----Got cut off and i forgot what i was saying----
Just submitted cog-assignment 2
THANK GOD
yay.
Happiness is when you finish one assignment and you realise you can breathe before another one
and exam schedule is out.
yay?
Im sleepy.
#TodayMarksIt
Sunday, 21 September 2014 || 05:53
Im kinda single now.
But not available?
I don't know.
I am just lost.
I feel like, it was as before.
I thought i found someone different.
Is it like what my teacher said?
The victim will put themselves in the hands of abusers,
like a cycle,
so they are victims?
Please.
Break the chain, my Lord.
Today, started out..
Mehs.
But i guess, then it all became, a game.
Like, its back to my separate identity again.
The person behind the pencil.
Person behind words on ink.
Drawings.
Doodles.
Poems.
Pictures.
Whatnots.
#almostdied when i went to get dinner for dad.
Honestly, i was really fine settling ice-cream or KFC for dinner (No appetite).
But, seeing how he did not actually have proper lunch.. and the rest of the family members pretty much feel that they had done alot of things (who in these times do not think so?),
so.. i went to get it.
Despite being kinda sick, worned, and everything.
Wet a towel, and mugged myself on my way there and back.
But ive got extra cash.
For whats worth,
I keep praying that i don't suffocate.
Arghs.
I need to focus so much now,
Before no more commppp ):
I guess at the end of the day, no one really accepts.
So what if you gave all you could?
They wouldn't.
Dear God, did you felt the same way too?
I'm Sorry.
The tide kept rising,
before i can even put my head above the waters,
there it went, like gushing wind,
forcefully;
My stomach full,
throat hoarse,
there is nothing more i can do;
To wait for death itself, or to continue to swim?
I'm tired, looking for a place to float.
Possible?
But floating and adrift, is kinda the same just slower and less tedious.
Painful or fast?
Lasting, or no more?
#imtheother
#littleheart
Sunday, 7 September 2014 || 11:21
My heart, if i can say i own it, just broke into a million pieces.
Is that even possible? I used to think.
When i read them in books,
In poetrys,
In the things i see.
And then, it happened.
For that to happen, you have to try your best,
To go through even when you are not at your best.
To fall and break multiple times before the previous injury can recover.
Is like your mind gives you the illusion that you are on regen _ but you are not.
And then, it happens.
I honestly thought someone, or somebody out there,
Would want to walk my path with me,
Like im talking about human.
But i guess, im just weird afterall.
And all these while, no one is willing to get hurt together with me so i can pull through.
Get dirty together and so i can survive, even if it means going into the quick sand and pushing me out first and then grab some vine and pull him or herself out.
Or like, die together at the best.
Just as long as we are together.
But no. Sadly i have found no one as such.
Maybe i will be questioned, in this manner..
Will you be able to do it..
Honestly, i have already done so. And i chose to push people out of their quick sand.
I mean, for those i really loved.
And i got into trouble myself. But well im still surviving.
But because im of such, i guess i had the expectation that out there, there could be someone who functions similar to me.
Or maybe love me enough to do so.
And that maybe.. that we could love so deeply.
But no. Everyone is just mercenary.
Yep.
All i gotta say.
Is my heart just lost hope on that.
And now that he is successfully gone.
Im not afraid he be hurt again.
And im left alone once again.
Picking the pieces, counting how many days before i spent my time currency away.
Maybe i will never find someone to spend.
Hahaa or maybe lord is all that is.
The end.